well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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