Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
