turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
