...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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