CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
