I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
