I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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