Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
