i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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