CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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