ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
