haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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