I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
