small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
