How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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