I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
