the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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