can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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