wat bout pragnant strippers??
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Your cock deserves a montage
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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