I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
