pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
