Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
