ya dads aren't the best wingmen
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am in a vortex of obligation.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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