I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
