he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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