at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
