they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
