this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
