check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize