My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
