i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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