I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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