There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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