Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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