I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
