We're like a lot better than the average bears
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize