I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
