We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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