whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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