my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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