When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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