Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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