Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
