i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
