Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
