nutella sex= disaster
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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