She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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