apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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