thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
