some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
