She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize