just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
