I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
