Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Me too!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize