i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
