Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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