Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
