I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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