The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
