Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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