Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
