Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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