Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
