You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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