i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
