You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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