Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
