i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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