We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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