My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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